Sometimes you just need to cry! Anybody know what I mean? Since I am pretty sure not a single person reads this blog I feel pretty safe venting here. Some days are just hard. Lately it seems like every day is hard, actually. Peyton's only tone of voice seems to be whiny (sp?)! The 2's were easy compared to raising this 3 year old! I love being able to work 2 days a week b/c it just gives us a break from each other but then I feel guilty b/c my parents have to keep him and I know he is a handful for them. I just wish there was one night I didn't have to wait for him to finally fall asleep just so i felt comfortable going to sleep only to wake up about 6:30 with him two inches from my face asking for milk or raisin toast. I know, I should be grateful to have him in my face every morning, some people would give anything for that blessing. Don't get me wrong, I am so blessed to be P's mom and thank God for allowing me to raise his child. I think it's just the never ending need. Ever feel like you take care of everyone and no one takes care of you. I know, mom's need to take care of themselves, but who has time for that? I am so lucky to have a husband who works crazy hours at two jobs to provide for us but sometimes I want to hand him P and say "I'm going to bed, wake me up about noon." How selfish is that? He works two jobs, I think I can get up and make breakfast every morning! This train of thought has been all over the place! I sound like such a complainer, guess now I know where P gets his whining from! I remind myself daily "you're gonna miss this..." and get teary eyed. I'm gonna miss P asking me to make a bridge with my legs, making play-doh pizzas, making sure buzz lightyear jammies are always clean, and watching him looking for his muscles to get bigger when he eats fruit and veggies. He is so precious and says something everyday that catches me off guard or makes me laugh.
They say it takes a village to raise a child and he is blessed with an awesome "village". I think us moms need a village too! Just someone to tell us we're doing a good job and our kids won't grow up to be awful adults! (or someone to let us take a nap once a year) If you have a big, strong support system, be thankful! If you don't, ask for one! People will help if you ask them! If they offer, say yes! Don't be like me and say no and act like you've got it all together and get home and feel like you're gonna lose your mind! Sometimes I just have to take a step back. At the end of the day if the floors are dirty and dishes are in the sink it just really doesn't matter. We are happy and healthy and we had fun today! I doubt P will remember if the kitchen floor always sparkled but hopefully he'll remember we had a lunch date and played in the fort we made in the dining room. Hopefully he'll remember we cuddled and watched cartoons after his nap and we made pizzas for dinner, because I know I'll remember and I'll miss every minute of it!
